How to be an 'astute' poster20 Mar 2021 14:16
1) Cover all bases – make sure any statement has ‘get outs’ that can be referred to retrospectively to show your correct predictions. Something like ‘I can see great things for this share but of course anything can happen’, followed by ‘this will only continue to slide unless something pops up to turn it around.’
2) Have other companies to hand in which you claim to have made fortunes over the years thanks to your ‘astuteness.’ These will be companies with a very erratic share price and history and better if they have gone bust, then you can say you ‘got out at the right time’ or ‘seen it coming’ but still made a vast profit.
3) Always claim anyone who displays enthusiasm has gone ‘all in’ – they have no other investments anywhere. Make it obvious that you have a lot of money in lots of shares, so by implication you are far more savvy, and considerably very rich because you are ‘astute’. They by default are not.
4) Never admit to any losses but insist you know the averages of those you undermine. Talk about when they have bought or sold, although you dont know.
5) Treat concession or compromise as a sign of weakness and failure.
If anyone makes a mistake or fails to cover all points, call them a liar. Repeatedly.
6) Never admit to being wrong, even if it is presented to you in black and white.
7) Support fellow pessimists with reassurances about how they ‘called it right’ or have a ‘balanced’ view.
8) Dwell on negatives from as far back as you can but ignore success such as trial results. Remember - once success is more than 3 days old it is history, but negatives (real or imagined) can be dwelt on endlessly.
9) Patience is weakness and is not acceptable.
10) Dismiss any leg-pulling by someone you dislike as ‘bad form’, ‘very bad form’, or ‘playing the man not the ball.’
11) In the event of a thread which highights anything positive, start an argument and be as abusive as possible. This may secure an abusive reply, or you can get some of your friends to pitch in and be abusive. The thread can then be reported as in breach of posting rules and with luck removed. You then blame its removal on people you dislike.
12) If your abusive posts are removed, worry not – they can’t be retrieved for scrutiny. You can claim that you disagree with have editorial power or some control over Admin. Cut and pastes from the past can be dismissed as ‘taken out of context.’ It worked for the Duke of Edinburgh.
13) Insist that any competition are further ahead, even if you can’t name them. Just say ‘lots of other companies’ and if pressed then say ‘I’ll leave that for you to research’ or ‘I’m not wasting my time naming them all.’
14) If all else fails, find a pundit who is malleable and for a small favour (folding or fluid possibly) might publish something negative for you, even though they know nothing about the company. Do not try this more than twice a year.
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