Hospices14 May 2022 11:54
Watching the lovely Deborah James in home hospice care makes me happy for her.
It was what I expected for my dear wife at a well acclaimed local hospice that she went to.
She spent a fair amount of time in the local hospital and she loved the food there.
She used to manage a kitchen at the private Nuffield Hospital in Exeter when we were married 50 years ago.
The hospice is very close to the hospital and I kick myself continually for not asking if they got their meals from there - it seemed too obvious that they would!
The reality was soul destroying for both of us!
She was admitted on Monday 17th , was greeted by a doctor who shocked the hell out of me when he asked her if she knew she was going to die? If I had my time over again, I'd have taken her home immediately but worse was come!
Within a couple of hours they had installed a morphine pump to make her comfortable!
It was euthanasia plain and simple. As far as I know she was left to die which she did in a couple of days on the Wednesday night. A friend visited her on Tuesday , left a card and flowers by her bed but Liz was unconcious and Jacqui left an hour later.
I don't think she was fed or watered at all beyond a drink in those first few hours.
They allowed Poppy to visit with me , but Poppy knew , and never went near her , preferring to lie on the floor.
I have never discussed hospices with anyone but the girl in charge of Liz's care at home from the hospice.
We went through a phase of Liz wanting to die so she was not a burden on me. She got it into her head I could not wait to put her into the hospice and Heather was helping me.
I told Heather exactly how Liz felt, and between us we convinced Liz that neither of us wanted her in the hospice prematurely and I told them both there was no way I'd be asking for that whatever!!
It worked , and I think I might have posted here that we had a lovely day that day.
Went to our favourite pub and had lunch which Liz seemed to enjoy.
So, I hope none of you go through this unaware of what a hospice is! I don't know if they are all the same but their follow up letters go in the bin unopened - I am very bitter but it was my fault for allowing her to be admitted!!!! We never had the chance to say goodbye or anything else really!
Deborah James choice of staying at home may have been a briliant decision.