RE: A good illustration of what could happen here!12 Dec 2025 09:03
✨ Revd Oldsharedogs’ Sunday Service Invite ✨
TIME : 8.00 a.m. Greek Orthodox Time
Location : Tim's Skiing Chalet - Somewhere in Royal Pharmaland - Past Greggs on the left by the all night chemist.
Theme: The Nativity – as you’ve never seen it before !!
Dear Congregation of Speculators, Satirists, and Shelf-Stackers,
This Sunday we gather under the twinkling lights of our collective imagination for a Nativity like no other. Forget donkeys and shepherds – we’ve got a cast straight out of the forum pantomime:
• 👶 P140 the Newborn – swaddled in ticker tape, crying every time the spread widens.
• 👔 Hallfbuttons – half-dressed, half-serious, wholly confused, fumbling with his shirt while announcing the good news.
• 💰 Gold Girl – glittering brighter than the FTSE futures, bearing gifts of bullion and sarcasm.
• 🚢 Popeye the Ship in the Desert – stranded far from port, muttering “I yam what I yam” while looking for an oasis of liquidity.
• 🛒 MSUK – stacking shelves in the wrong order, ensuring chaos reigns in Bethlehem’s corner shop.
• 🌌 Lordfolly – pirouetting under the starry night, proving folly can be divine when danced with conviction.
• 🎁 Tim & the BODs – stumbling in with gifts of diluted shares, PowerPoint slides, and promises of jam tomorrow.
• ❄️ OTM & Roger – left out in the wilderness, warming themselves on expired warrants and muttering about missed opportunities.
• 🦞 Rookie1 the Third Lobster – scuttling sideways into the manger scene, proving once and for all that in this Nativity, yes, there really were three lobsters present at the birth of speculation.
🎶 Programme Highlights:
• Opening Hymn: “Silent Spread, Holy Spread”
• Reading: From the Book of Mispriced Assets, Chapter 12, Verse 25.
• Nativity Tableau: Featuring MSUK’s upside-down shelves and Lordfolly’s interpretive dance.
• Closing Blessing: “May your portfolios be less volatile than this cast.”
📜 Final Word from Revd Oldsharedog:
Come one, come all – whether you’re bullish, bearish, or just bewildered. The manger is open, the spreadsheets are warm, and the laughter is guaranteed.
DOG BLESS YOU ALL - DON'T BE LATE FOR THIS WEEKS PREMIERE.
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