RE: Trade idea15 Feb 2026 08:15
**⛪️ THE SERMON OF THE SHIP IN DRY DOCK
As Delivered by the Revd OldSharedog, Keeper of the Sacred RNS Scrolls**
Brothers, sisters, and long‑suffering SCGL shareholders…
We gather today beside the great vessel SS Sealand, currently resting — some say sulking — in dry dock. A proud ship, once promised a glorious voyage to the mystical lands of “Shareholder Value” and “Strategic Partnerships”, now perched on wooden blocks like a pensioner on a mobility scooter awaiting an MOT.
But fear not. For every ship has its season. And every refit has its… delays.
The Crew of the Faithful
Let us honour those brave souls still aboard:
🧭 Capt Crober
Standing on the bridge, binoculars in hand, scanning the horizon for the long‑awaited “transformational update”. He has been scanning for so long that the crew have started calling him The Human Lighthouse.
He sees nothing.
He reports nothing.
He remains optimistic.
🎖️ The Colonel
Keeper of discipline, order, and the sacred spreadsheet of “Potential Catalysts”.
He marches the deck daily, barking:
“Men! Hold the line! The refit is nearly complete!”
He has been saying this in-between visits to Greggs since January 2025.
📈 MSUK the Chartist
Down in the engine room, surrounded by candles, chalk, and a Ouija board.
He whispers to the charts:
“Show me the breakout… reveal the golden cross…”
The charts whisper back:
“Try again next quarter.”
🎤 Callit, Entertainment Officer
Tasked with keeping morale high during the refit.
He performs nightly cabaret in the mess hall:
• Interpretive dance titled ‘Consolidation Phase’
• A puppet show called ‘The AGM That Time Forgot’
• And his famous stand‑up routine:
“SCGL walks into a bar… bartender says, ‘Sorry mate, we don’t serve long-term potential here.’”
🛩️ Roy29 on a Flying Visit
He parachutes in, shouts “Any news?”
The crew reply “No.”
He nods, satisfied, and immediately parachutes out again.
A man of efficiency.
The Message of the Dry Dock
My children, a ship in dry dock is not a ship abandoned.
It is a ship being prepared.
Strengthened.
Repainted.
Possibly having barnacles removed with a hammer and a prayer.
And so it is with SCGL.
For though the hull may creak, and the RNS may be delayed, and the crew may be surviving on hope and instant noodles…
The day will come when the great vessel is lowered back into the water.
And on that day, Capt Crober shall shout:
“Engines ahead!”
MSUK shall proclaim:
“The trend has reversed!”
Callit shall perform a celebratory tap‑dance on the foredeck.
The Colonel will update his spreadsheet.
And Roy29 will parachute in just in time to miss the entire thing.
The Final Blessing
Go forth, faithful holders.
May your patience be long,
your average be low,
and your RNS be timely.
And may the SS Sealand one day leave dry dock
and finally — FINALLY —
sail somewhere other than sideways.
Amen.
DOG BLESS YOU ALL.
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