The news at 13.429 Feb 2020 20:31
And finally, a Company called Bishvold Mamaries has found a way to store energy in a thing called a VaRiFuB. Our energy correspondent - Tony Lunes - has been keeping abreast of things. Here's his report from the pubic bush in South Africa.
Thank you Stephanie. And, er, sorry to hear about the last 27 years being a complete betrayal and disaster for your life. Still, what a brave man, er, person, er, thing, you wasted your entire life on. We all admire him greatly for the way he admited he totally f**ked you over. So brave of him. Shame he so rarely actually f**ked you over, what?
Hi, my name is Tony Lunes and I am reporting to you today from South Shields. (Er, Tony, it's South Africa)
WHAT? Are you CRAZY? That's where the R Whites virus is from!! I knew that plane was unnecessary!
(Just get on with it)
Ha, as I was saying before I was so rudely infected, I mean interrupted. I am here at the, hang on, I can get this. Va Met Co facility. Piece of cake. Now this facility produces over 3 grams of Vanadium stuff a year. ( Tony, it's thousands of tonnes) I knew that!
And this stuff stops the world falling down, are we seriously in South Africa? (Just keep going) I mean, I know I have a step-ladder but I never met my real ladder!!
I was never breast fed as a baby and hey, this is the BBC. I don't report the story, I AMTHE STORY.
(Cut)
So, when am I going to be on Celebrity Morons do bugger all?