The next focusIR Investor Webinar takes places on 14th May with guest speakers from Blue Whale Growth Fund, Taseko Mines, Kavango Resources and CQS Natural Resources fund. Please register here.
while we wait, some seasonal humour
When four of Santa's elves got sick, the trainee Elves did not produce toys as fast as the regular ones, and Santa began to feel the Pre-Christmas pressure.
Then Mrs. Claus told Santa her Mother was coming to visit, which stressed Santa even more.
When he went to harness the Reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two others had jumped the fence and were out, Heaven knows where. Then when he began to load the sleigh, one of the floorboards cracked, the toy bag fell to the ground and all the toys were scattered.
Frustrated, Santa went in the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered the Elves had drunk all the cider and hidden the liquor. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider jug, and it broke into hundreds of little glass pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found the Mice had eaten all the straw off the end of the broom.
Just then the doorbell rang, and an irritated Santa marched to the door, yanked it open, and there stood a little Angel with a great big Christmas tree.
The angel said very cheerfully, 'Merry Christmas Santa. Isn't this a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?'
And so began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.
Merry Christmas everyone.
[Image: emoji166.png]
after such a hot day, repost for those that missed it last time
It snowed last night...
8:00 am: I made a snowman.
8:10 - A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn't make a snow woman.
8:15 - So, I made a snow woman.
8:17 - My feminist neighbour complained about the snow woman's voluptuous chest saying it objectified snow women everywhere.
8:20 - The gay couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and moaned it could have been two snow men instead.
8:22 - The transgender man.. women...person asked why I didn't just make one snow person with detachable parts.
8:25 - The vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and not to decorate snow figures with.
8:28 - I was being called a ****** because the snow couple is white.
8:31 - The middle eastern gent across the road demanded the snow woman be covered up .
8:40 - The Police arrived saying someone had been offended.
8:42 - The feminist neighbour complained again that the broomstick of the snow woman needed to be removed because it depicted women in a domestic role.
8:43 - The council equality officer arrived and threatened me with eviction.
8:45 - TV news crew from BBC showed up. I was asked if I know the difference between snowmen and snow-women? I replied "Snowballs" and am now called a sexist.
9:00 - I was on the News as a suspected terrorist, ******, homophobe sensibility offender, bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather.
9:10 - I was asked if I have any accomplices. My children were taken by social services.
9:29 - Far left protesters offended by everything marched down the street demanding for me to be arrested.
By noon it all melted
Moral:
There is no moral to this story. It is what this Country has become .... and all because of snowflakes.
repost
Three Aussie blokes working up on an outback mobile phone tower: Mongrel, Coot and Bluey.
As they start their descent, Coot slips, falls off the tower and is killed instantly.
As the ambulance takes the body away, Bluey says, 'Well, bugger me, someone's gotta go and tell Coot's wife.
Mongrel says, 'OK, I'm pretty good at that sensitive stuff, I'll do it.'
Two hours later, he comes back carrying a case of beer.
Bluey says, 'Where'd you get the grog, Mongrel?
'Coot's wife gave it to me, Mongrel replies.
'That's unbelievable, you told the Missus her husband was dead and she gave you a case of beer?'
'Well, not exactly', Mongrel says. 'When she answered the door, I said "you must be Coot's widow."
'You must be mistaken,' she said, 'I'm not a widow.'
Then I said, 'I'll betcha a case of beer you are.'
Aussies are good at that sensitive stuff.
can't believe no posts since tuesday!
on a lighter note see how long this one lasts
Two Scousers are riding a bicycle on a road about 15 miles outside of Manchester. One of the bike's tires goes flat and they start hitching a lift back into town.
A friendly trucker stops to see if he can help and the Scousers ask him for a ride.
He tells them they can ride in the trailer if they could fit in with 20,000 bowling balls he is hauling.
They manage to squeeze themselves and their bike into the back and the driver shuts the doors and gets on his way. Wanting to make up time the trucker speeds up.
Sure enough a blonde cop pulls him over for speeding.
The officer asks the driver what he is carrying, to which the driver jokingly replies, "Scouse eggs."
The Blonde Lady Cop obviously doesn't believe this so she takes a look in the trailer.
She opens the back door and shocked, quickly shuts it and locks it.
She calls for immediate backup and an armed response team. The dispatcher asks what emergency she has that requires so many officers.
"I stopped an artic with 20,000 Scouse eggs in it. Two have hatched and they've already stolen a bicycle!"