RE: Inaccurate L.S.E.?23 Nov 2025 09:27
🐕 Revd Oldsharedog’s Sunday Sermon – Expanded Edition
The Church of Dual Delivery – Edition 86KB
23rd November 2025, 11:00 a.m. sharp (Orthodox Greek Time)
✝️ Opening Call to Worship
“Brethren, rejoice in the gospel of P140, already validated and sanctified by the industry. Truly, this is higher ground than the heathen deals of yesteryear! And if you still doubt, remember: even the doubters once believed in jam tomorrow, before dilution turned their wine into water.”
🎶 Hymns of the Faithful
• Onward, Speculative Soldiers
• Amazing Gains (How Sweet the Chart)
• Deliver Us From Dilution, O Lord
🗣️ Sermon Themes
• The Folly of Foolishness
• The Clouded Judgement
• The Rewarding Path
📖 Scripture Reading
From The Book of Foolishness, Chapter One Too Many:
“And lo, the trader did refresh his screen at midnight, and the whisky did whisper, ‘Buy more.’ But the chart spake otherwise, and the broker smirked.”
🐕 Special Lesson for OTM and Juxta
• OTM (One Too Many): Beware the midnight folly of excess trades and excess whiskies. Even RSI cannot absolve sins committed after the eleventh pint.
• Juxta (Juxtaposition of Hope and Reality): Thou shalt not compare AIM to NASDAQ, lest thy tears flood the temple. Embrace thy lot, for humour is the only hedge that never expires.
📈 Chartists’ Corner – Not to Cross the Line
Brethren of the candlesticks, hear this gentle rebuke:
• When thou seest a head‑and‑shoulders, do not proclaim apocalypse before the coffee is brewed.
• When thy MACD crosses, remember it is but a squiggle, not divine revelation.
• When thou drawest trendlines, let them not extend unto infinity, lest thy sermon become geometry class.
• And above all, let not thy zeal for Fibonacci retracements cross the line into numerology. For the temple welcomes analysis, but not obsession.
Thus saith the Revd: “Charts are tools, not commandments. Use them wisely, laugh at them often, and never forget that price action is a prankster.”
📢 Community Announcements
• Prep Day Confessions: Submit your burning themes before the altar closes.
• Candlelight Vigil: For IMM, GFIN, and other wandering tickers. BYO calculators.
• Ethical Reminder: Rampers and derampers alike shall sit in the pews of civility.
🙌 Closing Benediction
“Go forth, ye holders of faith, and let not foolishness cloud thy trades. May your charts be righteous, your brokers merciful, and your portfolios ever ascending. And if your patience wavers, remember: Dither and panic others will decide your fate :)
DOG BLESS YOU ALL — DON’T BE LATE FOR THE RED DOT TOMORROW - AND THEN LETS JUMP ABOARD THE IMM EXPRESS
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