Member Info for numpty5

knutsfordnotary.
What's the matter with you? You been here long enough for Fortunes sake?
It's easy. You got your Vanadium right? Sprinkle a bit on the Humber bridge and it's good for another generation as long as you keep using decent paint. Then there's your electrolyte. Stuff a bit in your duracell and that bunny will keep at it like a, well, you know. Bunny.
Then there's your Nitrovan. Our stuff. No added sugar or artificial flavourings or chlorinated malarky there.
Think of it as the organic one. Corn fed. Much more tasty. Goes a bit further. Fetches more wonga.
Sorry if that's too scientific for you mate.
I try to keep it simple for alfa and that lot.
Never been sure they understand the finer nuances of my my technical explanations.

I told Mrs numpty I'd take her on a world cruise when this is over. She said she wants to go somewhere else.

Yes chequers, and the easter bunny and tooth fairy are alive and well. Muppet.

While it's quiet.

A white horse walks into a bar and asks for a whisky.
Barman says - we got a whisky named after you.
Horse says - what, Eric?

So I just watched this film.

I'm not going to lie.

I am not convinced it was a true story.

Don't worry. I remember. The letters of Henry Root. Very clever and funny if you have never read it.

In letter form, where he wrote to public figures and gave them a pound note so they had to respond and then wrote to other public figures sighting the first one as a friend And weaved a tangled web?
It's doing my nut in.

Oh yeah, the old 3rd of Feb 2020.

I can remember it like it was only 65 days ago!

The SP was ridiculous. 19p if memory serves me right. Nowhere near true value.

I topped up good.

Nurse? Nurse? I need a sh*t?

Apologies for the lack of proof reading.

Dad was convinced there was a fortune to made on the stock market. He was right of course. However, what he failed to take into account was that you had to have smarts about you to do it. He was two steps away from being a moron so what chance did he have?
Right.
I couldn't believe i was related to this man and chances are I was wasn't. My mother was was what some people call a personality, and what others call a sl*t.
I never saw her without bright red lipstick on. When i was five I used to run into Mum and Dads bedroom, like kids do. Even then she'd have bright red lipstick on. It was usually smeared over her face and her speech would be a little slurred which I actually thought was her normal way of talking until I hit 8 and due to an alchohol induced illness I actually caught her sober.
Dad was a iceman. I ain't saying he was cold, although he was. Comatise would be a better description. I say it because that's what he did. Delivered ice. He worked hard and earned a pittance. I will say one thing for him though. He had a plan. Put your money into stocks and shares and get rich. It don't seem like much of a plan now but all the other men in the neighbourhood had a plan of winning big at the track. You weigh the two up and you have to give him some respect. Which in truth nobody, including me. Actually, especially me, did.
He also put food on our plate and he did eventually get his reward. From me, not him.

I hated him for a while like all self respecting children do. But truth be told? And before I go any further I have to say that ain't a currency I am familiar with. If it hadnt been for been for him I never would have done the things I did. None of the amazing successes or spectacular failures would have been possible.

There is one thing I can remember like it was yesterday. Ambridge Chesterton coming to me and saying - that's it. The fund is wiped out and you owe 37 billion, 231 million, 427 thousand, 493 dollars and 57 cents.
I spaced it out so you could see the true impact. String a load of numbers together and who the hell knows what that really means? Am I right? I am!

I remember it like it was yesterday because, yeah, it was actually yesterday. By the time you read this, which obviously you are doing, it will probably be a year or two ago, depending on how bone idle I am and whether or not I actually finish wrighting this thing. Lets assume I did and you are doing.

Of course by now you will have read about it in all the papers. The biggest scandal of the decade so they say. You will have formed your own opinion of me that I am nothing more than a crook, a charlatan and a cheap snake oil sakesman. Well I am here to tell you that you are wrong.

I ain't that good.

Hurrar I don't hear you say.
It's never been done on a share BB before and I have no doubt there is a very good reason for that.
However, in Charles Dickens style I will do it chapter by chapter. I don't want to bore you any more than I usually do so in the event of my not getting 20 recommendations on any given chapter I will call it a day.
I may also get bored and call it a day anyway.
I have never written a book before. I did once write a song.

It started off slowly.
Limped along for a bit.
Then slowly petered out.

First chapter coming soon. Working title is - don't be a muppet- may change when I actually start to write it.

Gr33, yeah he hit the nail on the head. 5 years ago I took a massive pay cut to move from the mainstream car trade to a commercial vehicle broker because I valued time more than money. Not long after I progressed to the point where I regained the money as well as keeping the time as luck would have it. (I'm being modest, there was no luck involved)
Money is great but there is more to life.

Northern-monkey (great name, you from Hartlepool?) I have been here since 2013 and have just over 250,000. Trust me on this. It will mean more to me and you in the the long term than those with a million or two. They are already minted.

I have no evidence to support this but the down time may even be used to accelerate the expansion programme at Vametco. I wouldn't put it past them. One thing I am sure of is that won't be sat around playing candy crush. They will be doing something of benefit. Negotiating contracts and the like.

So I booked a delivery of essential items from Harrods. The usual things. Foie gras, lobster. Dom Perignon 84, truffles, Kobe. You know, just ones normal delivery. I wouldn't normally order these things myself or deign to talk to a common merchant.
Jives or Mrs Bridges would generally order it but they both had the temerity to die of this bothersome virus. Gave me no notice can you believe? No severance pay for them then.
Honestly, you can't get the staff! Gosh, I can remember when the slaves lasted longer than 30 years and only expected a paltry pay rise once a decade. Knew their place you see. (Cough)
Even Nanny is sittng in her own wee and has had to be evicted to somewhere or other. We had to fumigate her broom cupboard after we slung her out. Won't be getting that money back any time soon from her daughter will we? Oh no, she's too busy taking mary-juana pills in that 'vapes-r-us' shop doorway she sleeps in. No consideration for our costs.
Naturally I have instructed the family solicitor to pursue (cough) her for whatever we can. I don't imagine it will amount to much. I shall have to get the chauffeur to go round and give her a good kicking.
Now I can't remember my name just now but I am a merchant banker. That's the important thing. I won't attempt to explain it because you wouldn't understand. But basically it means people like me, rich, privileged and self entitled, earning lots of money for doing very little from hard working, honest, poor people like you. (Cough, cough) it's all entirely reasonable given the order of things. One would think you would have the good grace to give me your pittance without me having to do anything but we have to keep up the pretence that you have a say in the matter apparently. So uncle Lord, err, I can't remember his name off hand, but he was merchant banker too. (Cough cough cough)
I say, it's frightfully hot in here. (Cough)
My father, a great man who was the something duke of somewhere, I forget where, before I inhereted the title. He was (cough cough cough) a merchant banker. We have all gotten what we deserved (COUGH) in life. Basically everything.
Cough COUGH cough. The funny thing is. Before Mrs Bridges died. A week before they took (cough cough) her to hospital. She absolutely insisted I go (cough) to her room because she had something to say (cough) to me. Naturally I refused but (cough cough cough cough) she made such a fuss and quite upset the downstairs maids and other staff that (cough) eventually I acquiesced.
She beckoned me down so I could hear her then put her hand behind my head and pulled me into a full blown kiss! Well I never!! I assumed she was fond of me but that is disgraceful behaviour. Then she winked (cough cough cough cough) at me, smiled, and said she'd see my soon! (Cough)
Can you believe it?

The sex is still the same but the washing up is piling up.

Somebody made this comment to me at work the other day.
And I thought about it and turned it over in my mind. What seems like an off cuff comment is actually a philosophy for life.
So, what WOULD you do if you weren't afraid?
What different decisions would you have made in your life if you thought about this concept.
How many more successes would you have had. How many more failures?
How many fewer regrets would you have? Or greater?
They should stick this mesage in 10 foot high letters in every educational building in the world.
What would YOU do if you weren't afraid.
This is not a time to be afraid. This is a time to sieze the day. Do you trust your judgement or don't you?
How many regrets can one life take?

Because he has been working hard making us a muti mine multi processing vertically integrated VRFB/electrolyte producer. I claim and andrex.

Now listen here men. Oh, and you other sort. You know. The, er, chapesses or whatever. The yang to the gin. Or the otherway around. Frightfully difficult to make out these days.
Now nobody could ever accuse me of sexism as you know. But if the *****es could shut up and stay at the back I think that would be for the best. After all, we don't want to. You know. We don't want to, well we don't want to. Do we?
No.
So, that's settled for the best then. Hoorah.
Now, as I was about to say before a certain gender that shall remain nameless raised its pretty little head in a rather attractive manner, with a little bit of a come on big boy implication. Not to me obviously. Oh no, not for a second would one of the fairer (they call them fairer but they are anything but!) Give me so much as the time of day!!
However, that's in no way relevant to what I am trying to say. If women, yes I bloody said it, WOMEN. WOMEN god damn them to hell, praise the Lord and pass the ammunition!!
Should they at any point feel obliged to hide in a corner or bludgeon themselves with a hoover attachment then carry on. Especially the latter.
Other vacuuming cleaning options are available.
Where was I? Oh yes.
Please god will no woman ever love me? I don't even need love, just the odd w*nk would be a start!
So as I was saying. What exactly was I saying? Oh yes, I remember now.
I think the SP may rise 0.27% on Monday.
Good night men.
Damn you in hell you not men.
xxx

So I go up in the loft with my auntie Hilda. Dirty, smelly, covered in cobwebs. Still, she's not a bad cook.
What do I find there? The 2018 world hide and seek champion!
Not that any of that has anything to do with what I'm saying. It's this Bushveld Minerals thing. Very confusing. You see, here is clearly a very good Company with an excellent CEO and board that are time proven to pull off good, sometimes brilliant deals. With a product in supply deficit which the demand for can only increase and the SP is in the toilet.
They are cash rich, can you credit it? Been earning bundles for a while now. Not sticking it under the mattress like auntie Hilda used to before I found out and it very strangely started going missing.
There's these VRFB things you see. They are like these very very big batteries. Only bigger. Imagine you filled the Isle of Wight with Duracell bunnies and you start to get the picture. Only bigger.
Auntie Hilda used to say something about liking things bigger.
So these things can store renewable energy so they say. Store it for ages and loads of it. Be pretty useful at the moment with this terrible virus thingy going about. Auntie Hilda caught it. She was bad for a bit but then they hooked her up to one of these new Dyson ventilators and now she's picking up nicely.
I won't be that glad for her to be home though in all honesty. I used to stay with her whenver mummy and daddy had important things to do. You know, creosote the fence. Shopping. Watching Emerdale. Important stuff. But then she said the mattress broke and I had to sleep in her bed.
So these VRFB things can store the energy created by wind farms (auntie Hilda after a curry) or solar farms (Auntie Hilda after a sunbed) and release it when none is produced (Auntie Hilda p*ssed up and comatose after an 'accidental' fall down the stairs at 5 in the morning.)
Anyway, more later. Now auntie Hilda is back she insists I watch her do Horatio. Or something like that.