RE: Quite clear9 May 2026 12:15
The following has been written in honour of a previous member who guides his flock on other BBs.
I hope it is up to standard.
“Ah MysticMike, your post took me straight back to my old parish — The Church of St. ImmuPharma, Home of the Eternal Nearly‑There.”
The congregation used to be huge. Back in the glory days, when Phase III was spoken of in hushed tones and people genuinely believed the vicar’s prophecy that “the miracle cure is coming, brethren”. You couldn’t even get a seat — people were standing in the aisles waving placards saying ‘£10 by Easter’.
But now?
Well… let’s just say the congregation has thinned faster than the share price after a ‘transformational’ RNS.
We’re down to the same six regulars:
The True Believer who still insists “the science hasn’t changed” even though the roof has.
The Archivist who quotes 2017 presentations like scripture.
The Accountant who reminds us weekly that “cash runway is fine” while sitting under a bucket catching drips.
The Prophet of Doom who appears only to say “told you so” then vanishes again.
The Lapsed Holder who claims they sold out years ago but still attends every sermon.
And at the back, the bloke who only turns up to shout ‘WHERE’S THE PARTNER?’ before leaving.
And then there’s the roof.
The poor, battered roof that’s been leaking since the FDA smote us with the Great Phase III Smackdown. Every week the vicar stands up, holding the collection plate like it’s an RNS draft:
“Brothers and sisters… the roof needs repairing. Again. Any donations?”
And the IMM congregation responds exactly as expected:
“I’ll donate when the next deal is signed.”
“I’m waiting for the AGM — might be news.”
“I would donate, but I’m averaging down instead.”
“The roof isn’t leaking — that’s just shorters creating damp.”
“I’ll donate after the next spike.”
“I already donated in 2018 and I’m still waiting for ROI.”
Meanwhile the vicar bravely announces:
“Good news — the roof WILL be fixed. Soon. Very soon. Potentially transformational repairs pending due diligence.”
And the rain pours in harder.
But here we remain, Mike — the faithful IMM remnant. The stubborn. The delusional. The ones who refuse to leave the pews until either the miracle arrives or the ceiling collapses on us.
At this point, most of us are just hoping the roof falls in after the next RNS, not before.
The Revd.
With special thoughts too the faithful.
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