Member Info for oldsharedog

sunday sermon of the revd oldsharedog

this week from the kefalos kitchens of chaos.

masterchef: msuk edition — gospel according to the kitchen of despair

beloved brethren, sisters, lurkers, and those who only came for sausage rolls…

today we reflect upon the sacred carnage of masterchef: msuk, where culinary dreams went to die, and the fire alarm found religion.

🦆 first reading: msuk and the dead duck

brother msuk arrived clutching what he claimed was a duck.

this was not a duck.

this was an ex-duck.

this was a bird that had clearly completed its earthly journey some time ago.

the knives refused to touch it. the oven filed a complaint. even msuk’s seasoning couldn’t save it — and he used all the seasoning.

🥐 second reading: callit and the gourmet sausage rolls

brother callit approached his task with the intensity of a man auditioning for bake off and a hostage negotiation simultaneously.

he rolled, folded, muttered “lamination” like a spell… and produced sausage rolls so posh they demanded their own postcode.

delicious, yes — but capable of dental damage.

🍸 third reading: avocet and the ****tail nobody wanted

brother avocet then attempted an after-dinner ****tail.

he mixed spirits that had never been introduced.

he added garnishes that were still under warranty.

he shook the shaker like it owed him money.

the final drink hissed. the ice tried to escape. even the bin refused it on moral grounds.

⚖️ judgement day: colonel presiding

then came colonel, the weary judge.

he surveyed the offerings:

• the deceased duck

• the aristocratic sausage rolls

• the ****tail that violated several treaties

his verdict:

• msuk’s duck was unfit for human, animal, or spiritual consumption

• callit’s sausage rolls were praised but required a small loan

• avocet’s ****tail was condemned to solitary confinement

🙏 closing benediction

go forth and remember:

• respect your ingredients

• fear avocet’s ****tails

• and never trust msuk with poultry

amen, and pass the sausage rolls.

dog bless you all.

If I'm correct, there are the first signs of the SP strengthening.

I can see .30 on the horizon Monday .40 Tuesday and beyond that it's all guesswork :)

And that's my final answer !!

OMG - this will be one heck of a recovery :)

Hightower - I hope your right.

Back in profit again after 15 mths

OSD - waiting for some good news.

Roger - Please get my handle correct in future - oh but I'm in the bin - another piece of drivelling rubbish - you will not change your spots, which are puss like at best :)

At least you have managed to get things sorted in your mathematical single brain cell - as you now confirm it's 2 days NOT several days, the board will be hugely relieved. as they will be looking forward to serious increases in the SP on the WORKING days.

Not to worry I will join in the bashing you're getting over at the other boards where I'm invested :)

P.S. Spellcheck is also a useful tool for tools :)

OSD - Every day is a good day - even Good Friday - although it is only ONE day !!

Latino - totally agree - but lets qualify one thing :

High Risk = 95%

High reward = 5%

High Risk = total loss

High Reward = 1000% & UP

Personally i would take anything in-between :)

Roger - So your claim of several days leading up to Easter, is in fact ONE day - NOT SEVERAL - I believe my calendar and days of the week are correct. We then have ONE day after Good Friday - Bank Holiday Monday which is another non trading day - THAT MAKES TWO - NOT SEVERAL - but typical of your numbskull posting - sounds like you need to revise your calendar and stop living in La La land - still a 🤡

Pension - The simple answer is - nothing has been reported.

However - • Companies in this position often need partnerships, licensing deals, or distribution agreements to scale — and those discussions are almost always NDA‑protected.

All the time the Episwitch platform is gaining clinical traction

Recent articles shared by investors highlight:

• US prostate screening test launch

• Clinical validation in bladder cancer (Javelin trial)

• Growing US‑based clinical adoption

These are exactly the kinds of catalysts that precede commercial discussions — but again, nothing official.

The announcement will come out of the blue - but hopefully not to long away In the interim we await the latest info re NHS direction, although that is a long shot.

Roger - can you let us ALL know how where the several non business days are leading up to Easter ?? Have they been hidden with the info you missed about the £5ml info - you really are the worst type of 🤡 It's surprising you still have a performing licence 🤣🤣🤣🎪🔔END

In a nutshell : Directors have to put their hands in their pockets - unlock the convertible Facility provided by Alumni Capital - gain further contracts - regain market sentiment.

A big ask - very risky now - but it can be done IMHO.

OSD - will look again on Monday Arghhhh

3 business days left for their self imposed timescale to be fulfilled.

What size contracts will they be 🤷‍♂️😄

Does anyone know if the recent RNS would qualify for an entry into the Guinness book of records for the shortest one on record?

It would be nice to have something to be remembered by .

OSD - looking for alternative ideas. Largest sausage roll, we have a baker standing by 😄

I think there's a franchise called eat now ?

And that's the one Callit has signed up to and never got to the delivery stage !!

We have a similar service here - he is called Niko and will collect & deliver. Not confined to food - also fishing bait, olive oil, light bulbs all for a small fee and a beer when he's not delivering :)

NewU - a very comprehensive and balanced post.

The issue surrounding NICE is the big elephant in the room. I personally don’t see how this could be bypassed / fast tracked & so the reliance on private route is imperative. OBD need to start / expand vision across the private sector, which will have a knock on effect of cost reduction hopefully.

New uncle - fair point - humour will take a back seat for a while.

Who are the anonymous posters who are making false claims - please back up with facts.

Many thanks - OSD

Newgrumple - no insults needed:)

You never back anything up 🙄

You are always predictable - negative.

Newbuncle - there you go again - making unsubstantiated claims - please if you're going to introduce, what you believe to be factual - back it up with factual information.

There are many ppl here who unlike you ARE invested and have done their own research - but I suppose that ppl can easily access your other posts elsewhere and see that you only have ONE area of expertise - being negative & uninvested.

Have a nice day.

OSD - still waiting for that dot !!

The shortest AGM results communication in history - not even an acknowledgement ??

I wonder if Geoffrey Griggs is from Johannesburg - if so when he introduces himself with that distinguishable accent doesn't it sound like one of our favourite pastry's :)

OSD - Back building a boat.

Didn't know which way the market would go on this today - but it's positive and I have sold another to join in here with some of the profits.

I can see this up 50% within the next 6 weeks :)

OSD - time will tell

Ice - I think you may well be right - however I did actually expect the SP to be over the .005 mark by now - I'm going to go for a walk, when I get back can you arrange a northerly spike :)