Peters in Box ( possibly)30 Jan 2026 08:33
Dear Peter,
Congratulations on successfully completing your probationary period and module 1 of QED etiquette.
As you know module 1 involved making a presentation on 1 or more occasions to shareholders and reassuring them everything is on track and most importantly offering a timeline for progress. You have demonstrated you are a confident, knowledgeable candidate and have passed module 1 with a distinction as the required timeline has been missed as required by QED standards.
Module 2 will commence on Monday 2nd February. This module requires an operational update to be prepared giving reasons for the delays. You may not use any excuse which has previously been used, i.e. Unpaid bill dispute, floating objects, contaminated samples, stuck with lawyers, religious holidays etc. You may find this a touch difficult as so many have been used up but there are still a few available such as Somali Pirates, UFO’s chief negotiators wife has left him or maybe even because there’s a vowel in the month. We are confident you will be able to keep those pesky shareholders at bay for a good while longer and keep our salaries flowing in the meantime.
Once again congratulations and welcome to the QED magic roundabout.