Member Info for alphapig

Cliff Richard is doing a concert in Beijing and it's going great, towards the end of it he asks the audience for any requests. They all shout out, "Sing Tits and Fanny" and he doesn't understand what they're all on about so he asks how it goes, and the whole audience sings,"Tits an' Fanny, how we no talk anymore".

Bemused Indian brave approaches his chief Roaring Thunder and asks him how he picks the names for everyone, "Well" says the chief, "Whenever there is a newborn I hold them in my arms and leave the tipi, holding the baby to the gods, I look around me and name the child according to what I see. You're mother Lone Star was so named as I looked to the skies,and your sister Running Water as The river caught my eye". The chief then looks at the brave quizzically and says, "Anyhow, why do you ask 'Two Dogs Shagging'.

This is a new one I made up myself (best told to drunk people methinks):
Boy goes into bakers and asks, "can I have two cream cakes please?"
Baker: "Sorry son, we've only got Brown bread".
Boy: "That's ok, I've got a bike outside"

Little Johnny is in the history lesson. The teacher asks him, "Who knocked down the walls of Jericho", to which Johnny replied, "It wasn't me miss, and even if I knew who it was I'm no snitch". The teacher, fed up with Johnny's attitude and rudeness, calls his father in and tells him what Johnny said. The father replies, "If Johnny says he didn't do it then he didn' do it".

Kenny' Troajan, Wresth1, nice to post with people without an agenda, will always look in here, biggest loss is those not here anymore. You're all good guys/gals (Don't wanna be accused of anything).

Hi Troajan, my short termers were bought in pounds and shillings!

Hi Kenny, had to go back to work, I should have stuck to the horses.

Guys, what's the best value stock at the mo.

I'm a buyer at thrupence apeney

Yeah, i reckon it will open at 8am

Thought I'd beaten it by selling my vehicle, then the mrs told me it's not car owner virus!

I don't hold any shares now, but the following extract from transport dept re Thomas cook does give a glimmer of hope re possible Govt. assistance:
"The government refused to offer Thomas Cook a £250 million bailout, with British transport secretary Grant Shapps blaming the company’s £1.7 billion debt pile for its decision.

‘I think if we'd seen a business that clearly had hot prospects and all it needed was something very simple and then it would carry on, that would be very different,’ Shapps told ITN.

‘I don't think that there was a route through to pumping in taxpayers' money and then actually avoiding today. I think today would have happened even if we'd done that,’ he added".

It can be taken any way you want, but I think Sxx does have 'hot' prospects if it gets some kind of guarantee from govt. hopefully before Jpm withdraw agreement.

Personally, I thought it was just shorters pulling a fast one to close some shorts at best possible price. Algo trading at its best (or worst). Just a couple of 'o' trade buys managed to get in during it.

Sageman, Nice post.

Looks like we'll all have to vote lib dem then.

Someone posted the link at 09:33.

Steady, yeah you're right (but I'm going with the bbc). Nuff said.

Excuse me, but there's no way for us to tell whether they were buys or sells. You don't get 'o' trades traded after market. They were trades during dealing hours and are in red because they are equal or under the UT trade at 16:35.

Malkis, there's no way of knowing if the trade was a buy or sell, its only in blue because it was a trade above the UT trade.

To the 'bond' literate, whilst I still think the bonds will sell, Sxx has resorted to convertible bonds in the past (which I appreciate involves dilution), would these be amenable for JPM to release the revolving tranches of credit. People talk of this as a binary bet at the moment, but thee are still avenues to progress without shareholder wipeout, as many come on here to state.