Roundtable Discussion; The Future of Mineral Sands. Watch the video here.
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Two men get caught having sex with the sultans's daughter in the Bedouin camp. The sultan asks each one to find and get 20 pieces of fruit as a punishment. The first guy comes back bringing dates. Sultan orders him to stuff them one at a time up his arse. As he is doing this he is laughing. Perplexed, the sultan asks why are you laughing?
He replies "my friend is bringing coconuts".
Can't beat the old ones.
Little Johnny sitting in class at school when the teacher asks everyone to make a sentence with the word contagious in it. Of course the teacher asked for other volunteers to give their sentences first, and they all showed they grasped the meaning of the word, but eventually, with Johnny's hand still held up, she asked for his sentence. Johnny says, "I hid my brothers TV remote in his bedroom, and it took the contagious to find it".
Well, the same lad, he's been in the legion for going on a year now, he gets tasked to give security to a documentary team doing a film on insects in the oasis. One of the team is a really hot girl who takes a shine to our lad and lets him know it. When they finish filming for the day she comes up to him and tells him she'll do anything that takes his fancy. He says, "thanks very much, you couldn't hold this camel still for five minutes for me could ya".
Bob saw his doctor and asked if he had ever laughed at a patient.
"In over 20 years I haven't because I try to remain professional."
With that Bob dropped his trousers revealing the tiniest dick the doctor had ever seen. It wasn't any bigger than a AAA battery.
The doctor burst into uncontrolable hysteria. "I'm sorry I really am, I don't know what came over me, I promise it won't happen again. Now what seems to be the problem?"
"It's swollen" said Bob.
Young lad joins the French Foreign Legion for a bit of adventure, and after training gets posted out to his batallion in the desert. After a few days he asks what everyone does for sex, there's no town nearby. One of his platoon tells him that the batallion muster at 0530 hours every morning and they have sex with the herd of camels in the oasis about two miles away. "There's no bloody way I'm doing that, that's disgusting" says the lad. But after a few days he comes round and turns up at the 5:30 muster. The Sgt Major shouted out, "On your marks, go", and everyone started running, jogging at first, but increasing pace steadily as they got closer to the oasis and the camels, eventually starting to sprint. "What the feck are we running for" shouts the lad to a guy next to him, to which he gets the reply, "Well, you don't wanna get an ugly one, do ya".
A backpacker is hopelessly lost in the Australian outback. He's been walking for days, out of water and resigned to his fate when he stumbles across a remote Aboriginal settlement called Mersey. He asks for water and is told that there isn't any. "How do you survive ? " he asks. "We drink a tea made from Koala urine mixed with some herbs" answers the man. He is offered some and drinks gratefully. "How on earth can you keep drinking this stuff ?" asks the backpacker. " It's disgusting and has the consistency of thick sludge." The man replies, "That's because the Koala tea of Mersey is not strained".
Romanes ite Domum.