Roundtable Discussion; The Future of Mineral Sands. Watch the video here.
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A lady and her 7-year-old son are eating in a restauran
In a moment of playfulness, the boy swallows a coin and chokes. The mother tries slapping his back, rubbing his neck, shaking him hard and everything she could think of, without success._*
*_The boy begins to turn blue. The desperate mother starts screaming for help._*
*_A man gets up from a nearby table, and with astonishing tranquillity, without saying a word, lowers the boy's pants and squeezes his testicles._*
*_The boy yells and spits out the coin. The gentleman with the same tranquillity returns to his table without a word._*
*_Soon, the mother calms down and approaches the gentleman to thank him for saving her son's life._*
*_She asks, "Sir, are you a doctor..?"_*
*_"No, ma'am," comes the reply. "I'm an Assistant Commissioner of Income Tax”_*
*_"We are trained to squeeze everyone's balls to make them cough up the last penny."
I've just received a phone call from British Gas, he said "how would you like to save hundreds of pounds a year on your bills?"I said "yeah great"So he sold me a fleece.
I passed a field on my way home this afternoon and I saw a scarecrow having a w*nk. The poor thing was clutching at straws!
I wouldn't be surprised to see big buy at around 16:00 to 16:01. Big green bar. They may print it late.
The guy sat next to me on the train pulled out a pic of his wife and said, “she’s a beauty isn’t she?”
I said, “If you think she’s beautiful, you should see my missus mate.”
He said, “why is she a stunner?”
I said, “No, she’s an optician!”
A woman walks into an accountant's office and tells him that she needs to file her taxes.
The accountant says, "Before we begin, I'll need to ask you a few questions."
He gets her name, address etc. And then asks, "What's your occupation?"
"I'm a prostitute," she says.
The accountant is somewhat taken aback and says, "Let's try to re-phrase that."
The woman says, "OK, I'm a high-end call girl".
"No, that still won't work. Try again."
They both think for a minute; then the woman says, "I'm an elite poultry farmer."
The accountant asks, "What does poultry farming have to do with being a prostitute?"
"Well, I raised a thousand c#cks last year."
"Poultry Farmer it is."
Viagra won't make you James Bond but it will make you Roger Moore....
Paddy on his final question to win a million pounds. He has one life left. Phone friend.
Which bird does not make a nest. A sparrow a swallow or a cuckoo
He calls Murphy and he says bejesus it’s a Cuckoo 100 %
Paddy wins and he said how the fu.. did you know that. Murphy says well Paddy yer thick eediot it lives in a clock.
Judge says to Mickey Mouse, ''I can't grant you a divorce on the grounds that Minnie Mouse has protruding teeth''.
Mickey to the judge, ''I didn't say she had protruding teeth, I said she was f---ing Goofy''.
Rest assured I really don't know
Peps (Debbie lol)
You guys need very little encouragement and you are all making me laugh, today is turning out to be a fine one
Nice to see other ladies too, hiya Frutsels, apologies to Septic for making her jealous
Trift8082,
You need to, after that lol.
What do a nearsighted gynecologist and a puppy have in common? A wet nose.
My husband who worked in the local chippy came home to tell me that he had beed dismissed so I went straight down there to confront the manager who told me that he had found him with the potato peeler up his bottom. I asked to see the potato peeler and he told me that he had fired him too.
I’ll get my jacket.
Trift x
Hoochy, the Paul Daniels thing, is that because they liked it, just not a lot
Not according to Debbie so I’ve heard Houchy
All these other fine ladies on deck , & I think Septic Lil is getting jealous ,
Even though she resembles a napalmed manatee with forearms like Popeye & wearing nothing but a seaweed thong ,
She is a deep & shy lady & has kept these shipmates fully engaged over the last 18 months .
Rums all Round
Rums all Round
even better 66k short closed
When Hoochy aint scratching - he's licking.
JT
Hoochy you're just nuts, don't let mention of them give you an excuse to scratch tho
So many good vibes here. I just want to get high
I’m a Randy sea dog would be good to see a few females in my hammock!
I am a female too, good to see some females on the board ;-)
Great to see all the banter today, I'm female and think you boys are very funny, not in the slightest bit offended. Newbies you belong on a stage, keep em coming