13 Reasons Why People Put Others Down And How To Deal With Them19 Jul 2023 15:11
13 Reasons Why People Put Others Down
1. To make themselves feel better.
2. They are jealous.
3. To make themselves feel important.
4. To make other people like them.
5. To get attention.
6. To feel in control.
7. They are using displacement as a defence mechanism.
8. To weaken the resolve of another person with a view to manipulating them.
9. They have a negative outlook on life.
10. They have low social and emotional intelligence.
11. They fall foul of stereotypes.
12. They are unwilling to listen to an opposing point of view.
13. They don’t know how to communicate properly.
How To Deal With People Who Put You Down
1. Realize that their comments reflect on them, NOT you.
2. Consider the counter-evidence - I hear you, I don’t agree with you - come up with all the reasons they’re wrong in your head and then you realise you know the truth. Keep these in your head only. This prevents their negativity from affecting you. Keep doing this in your head only.
3. Put things firmly in perspective - don’t let someone else’s unkind words take what you have away from you. You have people who care about you and believe in you. You have much to celebrate. You have worked hard and achieved. Passtimes you enjoy doing. Moments to treasure.
4. Ask whether there was anything constructive in the put down. Like can give as good as he gets.
5. Don’t attack them in return - never fight fire with fire. Don’t hurt them like they hurt you. Empathise with them. They are saying these words from their own position of pain/misery. They are wounded and lashing out to find some comfort.
6. Laugh it off - self deprecating humour.
7. Say thank you. This disarms them.
8. Tell them how it makes you feel - only with a person you care about and cares about you.
9. Exit the situation - “On that note, I think it’s best I go now.” Gives time to process the putdown and check your emotions.
10. Say goodbye to repeat offenders - keep things pleasant.
11. Be prepared to defend others who suffer a put down - step in when somone else is targeted, state your disagreement and let them know that sort of behaviour is unacceptable.
Always, always, always remember - Whoever is trying to bring you down is already below you.
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