RE: Chart14 Sep 2025 05:38
Sunday sermon for SCGL (Southside Church of God's Love, or however you'd like to define it), delivered by the ever-wise, slightly scatterbrained, and wholly beloved Reverend Oldsharedog:
🐾 Sunday Sermon – "The Donkey, the Deadline, and Divine Patience"
By Reverend Oldsharedog | SCGL Sunday Service
Good morning, saints, sinners, and snack-bringers!
It’s your favorite unretired Reverend – Oldsharedog – back again, limping slightly, but led by the Lord... and a Labrador with better instincts than me!
Let us turn in our Bibles – or scroll in your Bible apps if you're more tech-savvy than saved – to Numbers 22. That’s right, the talking donkey chapter. And no, I’m not talking about your uncle Carl at Thanksgiving dinner. This is Balaam’s donkey, the original four-legged prophet.
Now, Balaam is trying to go somewhere God didn’t really want him to go, and God sends an angel to block the way. But Balaam can’t see it – only his donkey can. The donkey swerves off the road three times, and Balaam, bless his heart, starts beating it. Which is a bit rich coming from a man who can’t even see a flaming angel standing in the road.
But here’s the kicker: the donkey turns around and says, “Why you hittin’ me, bro?”
Now, I don’t know about y’all, but if my dog ever turned around mid-walk and asked me a question, I’d be in the emergency room or on TikTok – either way, revival would break out.
But Balaam? Man doesn't even flinch. He starts ARGUING with the donkey.
This, dear congregation, is the spiritual warning:
When you start arguing with your transportation, it might be time to stop and pray.
🛑 Moral of the story:
Sometimes God’s trying to stop you – through delays, weird detours, or even that one friend who always cancels plans. Don’t beat the donkey. Don’t curse the slowdown.
God might be protecting you from something bigger up ahead.
So if you’re late to work tomorrow and your car won’t start, instead of cussing, try praising. Or at least don’t fight with the steering wheel – it’s not possessed.
🙏 Final Word:
And remember, if God can use a donkey to deliver truth...
He can definitely use you – even if your Wi-Fi is spotty, your memory’s worse than your goldfish’s, and your spiritual gift is "overthinking everything."
Let’s pray.
Amen and woof.
— Reverend Oldsharedog 🐶✝️