RE: Deal coming12 Oct 2025 08:35
🕍 Sunday Sermon: “The Lupuzor Liturgy”
Delivered by Reverend OldSharedog
Chapel of Chronic Dilution, AIMside – 13th October 2025
Beloved congregation of the biotech bewildered,
We gather today beneath the flickering fluorescence of false hope and the sacred ceiling of AIM’s eternal placing cycle. Let us bark not in despair, but in defiance. For though our portfolios resemble Phase III trial outcomes—uncertain, delayed, and mostly placebo—we remain united in faith, folly, and forum banter.
📜 Opening Reading: “The Gospel According to Lupuzor”
Let us turn to the Book of RNS, Chapter 2017 to Present.
Today, the IR team shall interpret this holy text through dance—each pirouette representing a year of silence, each tumble a missed endpoint.
🎤 Guest Homilies
💸 Lord Folly – “Blessed Are the Bagholders”
He who averages down without flinching shall inherit the AIM kingdom. His sermon will explore the divine art of holding through dilution, and the spiritual benefits of ignoring fundamentals.
🧥 The Millionaire from Birmingham – “From Riches to RNS”
A tale of glory, yachts, and lithium. He once held the golden ticket, now he holds laminated screenshots of 2003. His testimony will remind us: “It’s not about the money, it’s about the misplaced conviction.”
🛏️ The Man Who Carried His Bed – “Phase III: The Mime”
A silent reenactment of IMM’s clinical journey. Watch as he attempts to rise, only to be gently pushed back down by the MHRA’s interpretive clipboard.
🧠 Theological Debate: “Placings and Miracles”
Is dilution a divine test of patience? Or merely the CEO’s way of saying, “We’re still here, and we still need cash”?
Let the debate commence—with one side quoting scripture, the other quoting the last placing price.
🎶 The 60% Drawdown Psalm
Let us sing, dear holders, with trembling voices and trembling hands:
“Though I walk through the valley of the red candles,
I shall fear no RNS, for thou art with me—thy dilution and thy silence, they comfort me.”
Tissues will be provided. Shares will not.
🕯️ Communion Offering
Each attendee shall receive:
- A commemorative AIM candle (burns in 15 minutes, smells like regret).
- A vial of placebo (for spiritual healing and portfolio hallucination).
- A signed photo of Lord Folly holding a chart with no discernible trendline.
🙏 Dress Code
Come as you are—or as you were before the drawdown:
- Sackcloth, biotech robes, or ashes of your last £500.
- Optional: carry your bed, your broken dreams, or your last hope of a Phase III readout.
🐾 Final Benediction
Go forth, my speculative saints. Post with purpose. Hold with humour. And remember:
“IMM may not deliver a cure, but we shall deliver catharsis.”
“Blessed be the bagholders, for they shall inherit the bounce.”
DOG BLESS YOU ALL.
Don’t be late. The next placing waits for no one.