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The end of the movie "Big Short" says nobody went to prison,
and "bespoke tranche opportunity" is selling in their billions.
Bloomberg says it's just CDOs by another name.
The whole assumption that Rishi Sunak will bail you out whenever there is a crisis will be tested until the last straw breaks Rishi's back.
I do my grocery shopping in fruit and veg shops, as opposed to the supermarkets.
Even standard fruit and veg prices have shot up.
Milk farmers are committing suicide. You want another crisis Rishi will have to bail out?
We have a feud with the EU, so we have to fall back on UK milk production.
Except there's only ten cows left, and they are appearing as extras in Emmerdale.
If "Sir" Philip Green was doing it, what would he do?
Load it up with debts, starve the pension fund, sell off the best bits, then sell the pension liability with what's left for £1.
Hopefully, the borrowed money and the proceeds of selling OpenReach will be paid out in special dividends and share buy backs. Pushing the share price to £15, for just long enough for him to scarper.
He spends £2.2bn, and he has no plans up his sleeve?
Pull the other one.
Drahi , is that anything to do with Dracula?
Smaug the Dragon? BT consumed by Dragon Fire?
The £2.2bn cannot be all his money, it's bound to be some private equity comprising of
Beelzebub, Lucifer and Drahi.
Having a Coutts account has been a goal post for my adult life.
Alas, it's a moving goal post.
When I first asked, it was £2million minimum.
Last time I asked, it was £3million minimum.
This is the amount you lodge with them, not your house, and not a Buy To Let you own.
I did get a PEP (before ISA, after TESSA), with Coutts.
£6,000, and you're in. Needed the money, though, so it didn't last long.
An interesting chat with METRO bank suggests there may be a cheat that will get you in.
METRO Bank has a Private Bank account, which you qualify for by having £1million of "business" with them.
Theoretically, this could mean if you have a £1m mortgage with them.
Obviously, they are unlikely to lend you £1m without some cash in their pocket,
so a more likely scenario is £500k deposit, and £600k mortgage.
Plenty of £1m houses in London, so a 60% LTV mortgage is perfectly normal.
A friend knew a woman with a COUTTS credit card.
She was in no way rich, but she had a rich boy friend.
Or rich girlfriend?
So, all roads lead to Coutts.
Assuming SAR goes to £1, you will need 3,000,000 shares.
Inside an ISA, otherwise it's 20% Capital Gains Tax.
I think if you transfer from a dealing account to Coutts,
they will sell it, then transfer the cash, and you end up paying CGT.
I just paid 3.8p to top up.
Whenever I jump in like this, it starts falling fast.
In the eighties, they said when you see nuns buying shares, it's time to bail out.
If this goes pear shaped, I am thinking of going around in a nuns habit, as penance for my greed.
https://www.rsmuk.com/ideas-and-insights/tax-voice-december-2016/hmrc-expands-its-high-net-worth-individuals-criterion
"HNW units can be scary
HMRC reports that one third of cases at the HNW unit are currently under enquiry.
In fact, HMRC is targeting an increase in criminal prosecutions for HNW individuals from two a year to 100. "
As far as they are concerned, HNWIs are all potential tax evaders.
"I worked for a IFA and we had a ex.Navel Officer the boy wanted hands on with everything, wanted to know how we researched and projected etc. "
A Naval helicopter Observer came out of the service, and had NO money,
and wanted a new career, so he did this course:
https://www.stir.ac.uk/courses/pg-taught/investment-analysis/
Got the MSc, and the automatic CFA Level 1.
Couldn't get a job in the financial services industry.
Last time I heard he was in Air Traffic Control.
I would say he was much better qualified than most, having seen some of the chancers who try to take the CFA Level 1 exam. Some of them obviously didn't study at all, and only turned up because their company put up the exam fee.
Well, you get 25% if you tick (A) for all the questions.
As far as I'm concerned, a good IFA is one that doesn't run away with your money to the Bahamas.
Research? They just go to the pub, and ask what is the latest band wagon to jump on.
https://www.forbes.com/sites/karlmoore/2021/04/09/who-are-the-non-hnwi-luxury-consumers/
To start, it’s worth defining what “high net worth” actually means. According to Investopedia, HNWIs can be characterized by having liquid financial assets in the $1 million range. An investor with less than $1 million but more than $100,000 is considered to be “affluent” or perhaps “sub-HNWI.” The upper end of HNWI is around $5 million, at which point the client is then referred to as “very HNWI.” More than $30 million in wealth classifies a person as “ultra HNWI.”
Liquid means the house you live in does not count.
Not too sure whether Buy to Let counts. Not so liquid.
If you have an 80% LTV mortgage, a £1m property is only £200k.
Pension? Not sure that counts either.
$1 million = £705,560 today
$100,000 = £70,556 today
So, all you have to have is £71k in an ISA, and you are affluent.
If Buy To Let counts, a house bought 25 years years ago for £170k is now worth ~£1m.
Even if you still have a mortgage, the net value is more than £705,560.
In which case, you ARE a HNWI already.
Just a little bed and ISA tale.
Sold at 2.4p, thinking I could transfer into the S&S ISA.
Oh no you don't, you have an S&S ISA , but you haven't fill out an application for the 2021/22 tax year.
Fill out online form. Twiddle thumbs.
Of course, by the time the transfer is allowed, SAR has gone up to 2.7p.
Looking for another spike, with fall back, preferably 2.4p.
The dividend payment is showing as 25th May on the online statement.
Historically, they could easily be a bit temperamental.
I just ignore them. If they haven't turned up after a few days, that's when I worry.
Twenty years ago, I was on a course with somebody who worked in an old fashioned broker firm.
He sent dividend cheques to old ladies. We are talking pensioners who had paper certificates.
"The issue with the below is there spouses would still receive 50% on the pension so would half the liability not eliminate it."
Send in the Milk Tray man.
Besides, the objective is to end up with a pension surplus, and halving the pension liability pretty much does that.
How much did the widows get after "Sir" Philip Green plundered BHS?
Private Equity, they don't care about the pensioners.
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/article-9618707/ALEX-BRUMMER-swoop-prey-firms-cut-run.html
"I'd want to know the side effects first but I'll take the £15 in the meantime."
It's a hyper-modern approach to the nanny state nudge methodology.
Instead of getting a COVID-19 vaccine jab, spread the rumour that it's an alternative form of LSD.
Call it BTrance-A, and they will queue around the block.
Free HIGH!
LLOY up 1%
BT.A down 1.35%
It sort of balances out for the day.
It's the slide down from £4 to £1 that really hurt.
All is forgiven, if BT.A climbs to £5 again.
The way it will play out is, an Italian or Russian hedge fund will buy up the fibre asset when it's nearly done, so cash cow ready to milk. The pension fund liability is simple. They have a ready list of targets, which will be given to the Mafia hit squad. Operation Paradiso. Suddenly, there is a pension surplus.
They buy in from £4 to £5.
Finish laying the fibre.
Execute Operation Paradiso.
BT.A then shoots to £15.
Exit.
Don't use Novichok. I would hire ex-Red Sparrows.
The pensioners could die with a smile.
Think Xenia Onatopp - Golden Eye
I" was trying to find a way of releasing some funds to top up yesterday- story of my life - missed that boat."
A couple of years ago, I wanted to top up my S&S ISA, before 5th April.
A five year fixed deposit was maturing on 7th April, so bad timing.
I asked HSBC to give me an overdraft of £20k.
It was only for a week or so, so how can they say no?
The HSBC Premier call centre man said my credit is good, so shouldn't be a problem, just need to confirm it with some department. He came back and asked casually what the money was for, and like an innocent bunny, I said to top up the ISA.
He checked with the lending control people, and they said NO. They don't lend money for investment purposes!
If I had said I wanted to buy an Alfa Romeo, and go on a road trip with Monica Bellucci, they would have authorised it, no problem. If I wanted to have a sex change, it's your money, do what you want, but to top an ISA, forget it.
After a year of nothing to book, first day they have something to do.
Built an IT system and a team for the whole world, just when the whole world shut down.
They could quite easily move to a home working model.
Rent computing facilities.
With the right communications set up, overnight coverage could be done overseas.
The UK can cover Tokyo and Singapore, if you can find Japanese, Mandarin and Malay speakers
So, "worst case" is:
0-3 years No reduction
" As you have held for over 2 years i think you can gift without any inheritance tax liability."
If you sell and cash in the AIM shares, it is just cash, and no longer qualify for the exemption.
I bought some AIM shares for my mother in an S&S ISA (hers),
to take advantage of this, but only some AIM shares qualify, and HMRC WON'T tell you which!
Property related AIM shares do not qualify, at least they tell you that.
Another nightmare scenario:
Your SAR shares are in a SIPP! and it pushes you over your lifetime allowance of £1,073,100.
55% tax! Well, only on the money that is over £1,073,100.
But you have to take out the 55% money first, before you get back to under.
So, when it's £900k, you draw down £200k, which is 25% tax free, but the other £150k incurs 40% higher rate income tax.
And then, the SAR shoots up to 20p, and you breach the lifetime allowance any way.
Aaarrrrrgggghhhhh!
There are a lot of parents who have the pass it on instinct, but don't realise the HMRC is just waiting for you trip up.
Unless you live another seven years, the gifting does not count, and all the money gifted are still subject to 40% inheritance tax.
Four mortgages is probably £500k to £1m worth.
On 2 January 2009, SAR = 0.04p (12 years ago)
Let us say you have 10,000,000 shares, which you bought at 0.04p 12 years ago, for £4,000
SAR = 1p means £100,000
SAR = 2p means £200,000
...
SAR = 10p means £1m
If it's inside an S&S ISA, there is no Capital Gains tax, otherwise it's 20% tax, at higher rate.
The problem is, the house you live in is bound to use up the tax free allowance for inheritance tax.
Let us say you gift £200k each by paying off their mortgages, so the size of the gift is £800k = £200k x 4.
The seven year exempt rule means you need to live another seven years for the gift to be tax free,
otherwise the Probate process will still count the £800k as part of your estate, and demand 40% tax,
£320k = £800k x 40%. This just means extra headache for the Executor of your Will.
The worst scenario is, you pay £200k in capital gains, give £800k away, and end up paying £320k IHT as well.
Imagine Rishi Sunak in a Vincent Price Hammer Horror outfit, and laughing hideously.
If you have a tax nightmare tonight, welcome to my life.
Octopus Investments Nominees Limited?
Call James Bond. Spectre is muscling in.
I suspect buy backs are good for institutions that don't pay capital gains tax, like pension funds.
Dividends are taxed twice.
A company pays tax on its profit first, the dividend paid out is after tax.
As a private investor, you get £2,000 personal dividend allowance, but more than that you pay tax, @ 7.5%/32.5% .
If Lloyds uses your profit to buy back shares, I don't think they pay any corporation tax on the buy back money.
If you are a pension fund manager, and you don't pay capital gains, you would like capital gains.
If I had some unused capital gains allowance, £12,300, and I used up my £2,000 dividend allowance already,
I would prefer to take the profit in capital gains too.
Would you like some monitoring with your lights?
No thanks, who's going to look at it?
This is until Greta Thunberg ascends to her throne as Planetary Climate Tsar, and Boris Johnson has to pretend to do something. Why did I have to have an EPC? Why did I have to have a smart meter? Before you know it, every factory/warehouse and school will have to show their energy consumption history, and Boris will give you a grant for an upgrade.
Would you like a Energy Tsar Certificate every year? A £1,000 a year maintenance contract, please.
https://treasurelife911.medium.com/bitcoin-chart-vs-tulip-mania-chart-vs-gold-vs-beanie-baby-craze-vs-price-crash-spells-doom-for-adc918be0496
Sooner or later, some government will bring in Green energy laws to prohibit Bitcoin mining.
But, I'm using it to heat my house. My hot water runs off the water cooled CPUs, I adapted my Aga to cook with the waste heat. All disallowed by 2025, when Greta Thunberg becomes Queen of the Planet. Followed by vasectomy after one baby.