HE1 vs The Doubters: The Case for Re-Rating ⚖️15 Feb 2026 18:46
Court convened at 9:00am sharp, though proceedings were briefly delayed while the prosecution searched for their missing narrative and the defence wheeled in several lorry-loads of volume, catalysts and a commodity shortage tighter than the Treasury at bonus time. Counsel for the bears opened with a passionate submission of “irrational exuberance,” only to be immediately undermined by Exhibit A: half a billion shares changing hands; Exhibit B: processing coming online; and Exhibit C: a global helium squeeze that refuses to respect anyone’s carefully drawn downtrend.
Cross-examination of the price action proved particularly uncomfortable. When asked why it kept rising despite stern online warnings, the chart replied, “No comment,” then proceeded to print another higher low. The allegation that this was “just retail froth” was struck from the record after the court clerk pointed out that retail froth rarely arrives in uniform 2-million-share tranches. A junior barrister attempted to introduce fear, uncertainty and doubt as character witnesses, but they failed to appear, reportedly stuck in traffic behind a convoy labelled “structural demand.”
In closing remarks, the judge noted that patience remains admissible evidence, weak hands may approach the dock at their own convenience, and momentum, while not a person, has clearly taken the stand and is speaking with confidence. The gallery of long-term holders nodded gravely, as if they had seen this sort of thing before and rather liked the ending.
The court therefore finds in favour of the re-rating, awards costs to those who kept the faith, and reminds all present that further testimony is expected via RNS.
All rise… along with the share price. 👨⚖️⚖️📈
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