RE: A Dead Duck19 Aug 2025 13:02
Afternoon me old muckers! Greetings from sunny Spain. Last of our summer hols, sadly.
Summer means loads of time with the ankle biters. Cost me a fortune mind, but the kids’ll have me pullin me hair if they’re cooped up at home all summer. Payin a few fines to whisk em away in winter as well, I reckon. Can’t stand the thought of bein stuck in the UK all winter, I’d go crackers!
Come September, I’ll be back more regular like, much to the horror of a few of you numpties. 😜
I tell ya, this ain’t just a dead duck no more, it’s worse than a dead duck. We’re talkin a proper stinkin, rottin carcass! I reckon there’s no chance of breathin any life back into it. I’ve seen fish at the fish market that are more lively than this sorry PLC lol.
Soon, any scraps of the poor corpse will be gone, maybe all that’s left is a faint shadow and a smudge where it once lay gaspin its last.
Right, listen ere,, truth be told, it’s more like Corpse Resources than Corpus!. But some numpties from the grand ol land of Rampadocia will have you believin it’s about to to pull a Lazarus and rise like a miracle jig. They’ve been bangin on about that for yonks, you’d think the dead were out for a stroll, puffin’ their pong of petrude smell, wanderin around here flashin their ghostly grimace and givin us a whiff whenever it tickles their fancy.
Sunny old Johnny Duck whisperin’ miracles while the rest of us smell the rot from miles away.
You ain’t makin this duck fly again, you’re just flappin about, makin’ a racket, and pullin the wool over the gullible’s eyes...
Anyway, best I scarper back before the missus thinks I’m graftin… told her no lookin at me phone or laptop for tradin purposes… told her, love, the money’s doin all the work for me this summer… except for this poor old dead duck, of course!