The Ballad of John Bull, Defender of the Shorts15 Oct 2025 15:41
Thought id see what this Chat GPT is all about....
"Oh sing, ye screens of pixel light,
Of John Bull’s posts, so bold, so bright!
A champion true of "truth" (so he claims),
While secretly fanning shorters’ flames.
He thunders loud, “I’m just an investor!
Not hired, not paid — no dark sequester!”
Yet each fresh rise in Greatland’s price
Turns his calm analysis into ice.
He posts by day, he posts by night,
Foretelling doom with keyboard might.
“Shaun Day’s a mirage!” he cries in fear,
As profits for longholders draw near.
His bosses pace in trembling fright,
Their balance sheets a sorry sight.
For every tick that GGP climbs,
Their losses multiply twelve times.
“Oh John!” they wail, “post harder still!
Confuse them with your silver quill!
Spin doubts and dread — obscure the facts!
We’re bleeding red — just post attacks!”
So John obeys, with earnest prose,
(And copy-pastes from threads he knows).
Yet all his might, all snide refrain,
Can’t stop the Day of Shaun’s domain.
For Shaun the Steady, calm and clear,
Marches on without a fear.
Each RNS — a fatal blow,
To shorters wailing, “No! No! No!”
And when at last the shorts are slain,
And John’s posts echo all in vain,
The forum laughs — “He tried his best!
A faithful troll, put to the test.”
So raise a glass, to John the Bull,
His irony so deep, so full.
For never was there, on any board,
A truer servant of the Lord of Shorts.
(P.S. — Greatland’s price still up today.
Take care, dear John — Shaun leads the way.)"