Novacyt headquarters, a few days ago:29 Jun 2021 16:36
GM: “How do we bring the news about our new antigen tests without triggering too much buying interest in our shares?”
Communications advisor (CA): “What if we come out early, with the Pro version already CE-marked and available for sale but the self-test still pending. It’s the self-test that will excite investors most, so in this way some disappointment should be guaranteed. You can then announce its real launch later with a tweet, for instance on a Friday night.”
GM: “Good thinking, I like it. What else can we do?”
CA: “Well, just don’t mention any extras that could make potential investors salivate, if you’ll forgive the pun. For starters, don’t mention your production capacity. If they really want to know, they can track back the company’s tweets. We had that infographic some time ago remember? No need to hand it to them on a plate. The same goes for the tests’ capacity to detect all currently known variants, including the Delta variant that everyone is so concerned about now. You mentioned that already sometime in April I believe. If they really want to know, let them do their own research. Also, no need to reiterate that you expect these tests to generate significant additional revenues for the company - done that already. If they cannot remember, and that’s my honest opinion, they simply don’t deserve to be invested here.”
GM: “Great stuff, love it. I knew I made the right decision when I hired you guys, worth every pound and penny. What about our partner? I’ve mentioned we have one a couple of times already. Can I just stay silent about them as well?”
CA: “Hmm, that would perhaps be a bit too awkward. Just mention the absolute minimum. Say it’s an OEM, that can be interpreted either way. You got them on an NDA, don’t you?”
GM: “Sure, they won’t say a thing, the same terms we always use for our partners and clients. In mysterious ways we move, and as far under the radar as can be.”
CA: “Alright, I think we’ve got it then, that should keep the sharks at bay. I’ll make the draft. You’ll have it first thing tomorrow.”
A work of fiction, obviously, but sometimes I wonder.
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