RE: Silverking Project Commencement of Drilling15 Mar 2025 08:36
here's my effort a4444 (with the help of grok)
in t’grimy hills o’ yorkshire, where t’wind howls like a banshee wi’ a hangover, lived colin ramsbirdbottom—a man so stubbornly yorkshire he’d argue wi’ a sheep over t’price o’ wool and win. bird weren’t much to look at: a chubby fella wi’ a flat cap welded to his skull and a face like a slapped haddock. but he had a secret—a daft, useless secret, mind—that’d make t’world’s alchemists spit out their ale.
i've herd tell, from zaccary on't radio, that birdy could turn anything, barren rock, carrots, cigars, into copper just by touching it. not gold, not silver—nowt fancy—just copper. pennies’ worth o’ the stuff. he’d discovered it one day when he tripped over a lump o’ granite on ilkley moor, stubbed his toe, and swore at it in proper yorkshire fashion: “tha useless bloody boulder!” next thing he knew, t’rock shimmered like a cheap disco ball and turned into a lump o’ copper big enough to make a kettle.
word got round t’village pub, the mucky duck, faster than a whippet wi’ a rocket up its ****. “birdy’s a bloody miracle worker!” cried old man grimshaw, supping his pint. “turned stone to copper, he did!”
birdy, being a practical sort, decided to test his powers. he marched up t’moor, hands in his pockets, muttering, “if i can turn rock to copper, i’ll be richer than t’duke o’ bloody westminster.” he grabbed every stone he could find—gritstone, limestone, even a avocado some posh hiker had dropped by the wayside. sure enough, each one turned to copper under his calloused old mitts. by teatime, he’d a pile o’ the stuff glinting in t’sun—enough to make a decent frying pan or two.
old feck brid’s a legend now, still, although broke half t’time, mind, cos he keeps loosing other people hard earned betting on the wrong hoss. but if tha’s ever up on t’moor and see a glint o’ copper, give it a nod. that’s colin ramsbirdbottom’s daft legacy: t’man who turned yorkshire’s barren soul into summat slightly less useless
buy-buy-buy
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