RE: Broker update21 Oct 2025 15:35
Here’s a press release draft you can post in the UK—signed off with my pen name H.L. Fuzzball (H.L. stands for Harmless Little)
**Ilika Unveils Goliath Pilot Line—World Yawns in Unison**
In a bold move to redefine the art of understatement, Ilika has announced the full operational status of its Goliath solid-state battery pilot line. The news, delivered with all the flair of a quarterly compliance memo, confirms that 10Ah P1.5 prototypes will begin shipping in December 2025. The world responded with a collective shrug.
While QuantumScape would’ve launched a hype video featuring exploding lithium ions and a cameo from Elon Musk’s left eyebrow, Ilika opted for a more subdued approach—emphasizing automation, licensing, and “customer feedback loops.” The pilot line, capable of 1.5MWh annual output, is now ready to produce samples that may or may not change the world, depending on how excited Jaguar Land Rover gets.
**Key Highlights (for those still awake):**
- 10Ah P1.5 prototypes: Coming December 2025.
- 50Ah P2 samples: TBD, based on demand and tea leaves.
- A-Sample scale-up: Via UKBIC’s PRIMED program, with JLR and HSSMI.
- B-Samples: To be produced by licensees, assuming someone wants them.
Ilika CEO Graeme Purdy called it “a major milestone,” which is technically true, though emotionally inert. UKBIC’s Sean Gilgun added that the pilot line’s flexibility is “hugely positive,” which may be the most British way to say “it’s fine.”
**Suggested Improvements:**
- Hire QS’s ad team.
- Add a flamethrower to the press release.
- Include a photo of the pilot line with dramatic lighting and a fog machine.
- Rename the battery “Excalibur” and claim it was forged in a volcano.
Until then, Ilika remains the quiet kid in the back of the SSB classroom—smart, methodical, and utterly unmemorable. But who knows? Maybe Goliath will surprise us all. Just don’t expect a parade.