A rather attractive woman goes up to the bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the barman who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face close to hers. When he does so, she begins to gently caress his beard which is full and bushy.
"Are you the manager?" she asks, softly stroking his face with both hands.
"Actually, no" he replies.
"Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him." she asks, running her hands up beyond his beard and into his hair.
"I'm afraid I can't" breathes the barman - clearly aroused. "Is there anything I can do?"
"Yes there is. I need you to give him a message" she continues huskily, popping a couple of fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently. "Tell him" she says "that there is no toilet paper or hand soap in the ladies room."
Right lad's I'm off away to work until Wed night. Then I'm off to Tenerife on Friday for a week so I will leave the problem of Shatidi dum dum with you two to sort out. I will have internet access facilities with me but hey-ho, Sun, Sea, Sand, Vino. Need I say more.
When I get back I expect a resolution to this insult and a offer of +40p P/Share.
1549 Shakidi escapes from prison where he had been kept for 15 years. As he runs away, he finds a house called Hurley Mansions and breaks into it. He finds a young couple in bed. He gets the guy out of bed, ties him up on a chair, ties up the woman to the bed, gets on top of her, kisses her on the neck, then gets up, and goes to the bathroom. While he is there, the husband tells his wife: "Listen, this guy is a prisoner, look at his clothes! He probably spent a lot of time in prison, and has not seen a woman in years. I saw the way he kissed your neck. If he wants s e x, don't resist, don't complain, just do what he tells you, give him satisfaction. This guy must be dangerous, if he gets angry, he will kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you" To which the wife responds: "He was not kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me that he found you very sexy, and asked if we kept any Vaseline and a leather strap for you to bite on? I said "yes they are in the bathroom. Be strong, honey. Love you too..."
Johnny was playing outside when he really had to go to the bathroom. He runs in and his grandma was about to take a shower. He looks at her crotch and says, “Whats that?” She says, “Well, it's a beaver Johnny.”
The next day the same thing happens, only his mom is taking the shower. He says, “Mom I know what that is. It's a beaver, but I think grandma's is dead because it's tongue is hanging out.”
You know the nature of my job, ( I can't get to the meetings ) but I will try and see if there is a form to download to submit to the registrars for a vote for black Coffee to be available on the 18th. Because looking at PANT of Beer's spelling, it looks like, as a Share holder. We don't need our representative turning up being prepared to stare out Eye to Eye ****tyman only to find out later he is looking at everybody bleary / bloodshot / cross eyed. shouting Swivel on this big-boy.
I will leave it to Simon... I really hope you Guy's had a good day.
Excellent to see the new board members and good attendance for meeting. Strict takeover rules mean that total adherence to protocols was required and this was perfectly demonstrated by CEO. It is obviously frustrating to take a day out of your routine to attend a meeting which is subsequently postponed. However, nothing can substitute the 'feel' of such a meeting and the interpretation of body language and nature of those persons present as Pantastic related above. I came away with a very positive feeling of cohesion and resolution within the BoD, something not hitherto apparent with Healey and Simpson on the flanks. Top marks to Simon and his continued professionalism during what has been an obviously busy and distracting fortnight. I have no doubts in my own mind that the guy who single-handedly secured our 50% share in Rosbunker in the Russian courts will not be fazed by Belphar. Our CEO has more b*lls than Belphar, Hurley and Hepworth combined. To quote another guy with guts: Now this is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning. And yep: a coffee and a biscuit would be nice on the 18th - unless its Krug time?
I've voted against the conversion of the loan note into shares as 22p is obviously ridiculous. An insult. However, correct me if I'm wrong, even if Belphar achieved his 22p takeover, his motives would be to realise the true value of the shares in due course. This outcome would carry the remaining shareholders up to 40p or more. It's just that we wouldn't want a person who obviously specialises in robbery to be at the helm.
Well done guys for making the effort and giving us a feel for the atmosphere. And thanks Pantastic and Sisyphus for chatting with me at the meeting and answering some of my interesting questions (only joking).
The end = the rnc Named = NOMAD Probably numerous other typos...Still getting used to new phone that doesnt have slide out keyboard but does have annoying auto correct which appears to only understand russian.
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