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Member Info for Mr.Leeson

Premium Member

Member Since: Thu, 2nd Dec 2010

Number of Share Chat Posts (all time): 1,381
Number of Share Chat Posts (last 30 days): 7

Last Posted: Thu 08:10

Post Distribution over the last 30 days

Thu 08:10

end of April...

Wed 16:56

...don't mention it.
8 Apr '15

Seven wise men made up their minds,

To build them a Pussy of their designs.

The first a Carpenter full of wit,

With a hammer and chisel he made the split.

The second was a Blacksmith blacker than coal,

With hammer and anvil he made the hole.

The third was a Taylor long and thin,

With a piece of red ribbon he lined it within.

The fourth was a Furrier big and stout,

With the skin of a bear, he lined it without.

The fifth wan a Fisherman old and bent,

With a rotten herring he gave it a scent.

The sixth was a Preacher with a B.A. degree,

He patted it, felt it and said it could pee.

The seventh was a Rabbi a mean little runt,

He fecked it and blessed it and called it a.....
2 Apr '15

A young man joined the Army and signed up with the paratroopers. He went though the standard training, completed the practice jumps from higher and higher structures, and finally went to take his first jump from an airplane.

The next day, he called home to his father to tell him the news. "So, did you jump?" the father asked.

"Well, let me tell you what happened. We got up in the plane, and the sergeant opened up the door and asked for volunteers. About a dozen men got up and just walked out of the plane!"

"Is that when you jumped?" asked the father.

"Um, not yet. Then the sergeant started to grab the other men one at a time and throw them out the door."

"Did you jump then?" asked the father.

"I'm getting to that. Every one else had jumped, and I was the last man left on the plane. I told the sergeant that I was too scared to jump. He told me to get off the plane or he'd kick my ass."

"So, did you jump?"

"Not then. He tried to push me out of the plane, but I grabbed onto the door and refused to go. Finally he called over to the Jump Master. The Jump Master is this great big guy, about six-foot five, and 250 pounds. He said to me, "Boy, are you gonna jump or not?"

I said, "No, sir. I'm too scared" So the Jump Master pulled down his zipper and took his penis out. I swear, it was about ten inches long and as big around as a baseball bat! He said, 'Boy, either you jump out that door, or I'm sticking this little baby up your ass."

"So, did you jump?" asked the father." Well, a little.... at first."
27 Mar '15

Two oranges walk into a bar, one looks at the other and says, "Your round"

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