Login:
Share:
Email Facebook Twitter

Member Info for Mr.Leeson


Premium Member

Member Since: Thu, 2nd Dec 2010

Number of Share Chat Posts (all time): 1,274
Number of Share Chat Posts (last 30 days): 6

Last Posted: 9 Apr '14


Post Distribution over the last 30 days




9 Apr '14


An avid golfer found himself in Africa with time to play. He asked at his hotel for the nearest golf course, was put in a cab, and spent two hours being driven deeper and deeper into the jungle until he arrived at a course.

He checked in with the pro and asked to rent some equipment and, since he'd never played the course before, for a caddie. In a few minutes, he was escorted to the first tee, where his caddie was waiting with a bagful of clubs under one arm and a rifle under the other.

The golfer was taken aback, but composed himself and hit a good drive down the fairway of the opening hole, a tough par four. As they were walking to his ball, a tiger sprang out of the rough and charged the golfer.

Without missing a beat, the caddie dropped the bag, aimed his rifle, and shot the animal dead.

Again, the golfer had to compose himself, taking a minute to catch his breath. But he quickly recovered, hit a good approach, and parred the hole.

The same thing happened on the second hole, a long, twisting par five. But this time it was a lion that bolted out of the jungle, charged the golfer, and was dropped by a single shot from the caddie's rifle.

By now the golfer was visibly shaken, but the caddie looked unflappabl -- and obviously was a good shot -- so they played on.

The third hole was an easy par three surrounded by water. The golfer hit a good short iron, which landed near the cup. As he was walking onto the green, a crocodile slid out of the water and began moving toward him.

Unfazed, the golfer looked to his caddie for help. But the caddie stood motionless. The crocodile moved closer, and the golfer, beginning to get upset, again glanced at the caddie, who didn't move.

Finally, with the crocodile just inches away, the golfer screamed, "Aren't you going to do something?"

The caddie looked at the scorecard and said, "I'm sorry, sir, but you don't get a shot on this hole."
3 Apr '14


A photon checks into a hotel and the porter asks him if he has any luggage. The photon replies: “No, I’m travelling light."
1 Apr '14


Two elderly ladies meet at the launderette after not seeing one another for some time. After inquiring about each other's health, one asked how the other's husband was doing.

"Oh! Fred died last week. He went out to the garden to dig up a cabbage for dinner, had a heart attack and dropped down dead right there in the middle of the vegetable patch!"

"Oh dear! I'm very sorry," replied her friend, "What did you do?"

"Opened a can of peas instead."
28 Mar '14


Many thanks...please tell Snooty.
28 Mar '14


After nearly 50 years of marriage, a couple was lying in bed one evening, when the wife felt her husband, begin to massage her in ways he hadn't in quite some time.

It almost tickled as his fingers started at her neck, and then began moving down past the small of her back. He then caressed her shoulders and neck, slowly worked his hand down, stopping just over her stomach. He then proceeded to place his hand on her left inner arm, working down her side, passing gently over her buttock and down her leg to her calf.

Then, he proceeded up her thigh, stopping just at the uppermost portion of her leg. He continued in the same manner on her right side, then suddenly stopped, rolled over and became silent.

As she had become quite aroused by this caressing, she asked in a loving voice, "Darling,that was wonderful. Why did you stop?"

To which he responded: "I found the remote."


Sign up for Live Prices
Top Recommended
Hot Chat Topics
Top recommended posters in the last 30 days
Share Price Spacerseanhunter327 
Share Price SpacerSpikeyj325 
Share Price SpacerIapetus305 
Share Price Spacerspacedog300 
Share Price Spacercautioussid259 
Share Price SpacerJuliandeBosdari254 
Share Price SpacerMarcopolis243 
Share Price Spacergaryn242 




Member Login

Forgotten your password?
Email:

Password:


Don't have an account? Click here to Register Free!




Datafeed and UK data supplied by NBTrader and Digital Look. While London South East do their best to maintain the high quality of the information displayed on this site,
we cannot be held responsible for any loss due to incorrect information found here. All information is provided free of charge, 'as-is', and you use it at your own risk.
The contents of all 'Chat' messages should not be construed as advice and represent the opinions of the authors, not those of London South East Limited, or its affiliates.
London South East does not authorise or approve this content, and reserves the right to remove items at its discretion.