Email Facebook Twitter

Member Info for Mr.Leeson

Premium Member

Send a private message to Mr.Leeson

Member Since: Thu, 2nd Dec 2010

Number of Share Chat Posts (all time): 858
Number of Share Chat Posts (last 30 days): 0

Last Posted: 29 Apr '16

29 Apr '16

I have lost all my sense of humor...
1 Apr '16

Here's Leeson...
17 Mar '16

An Irish priest is driving along a country road when a police man pulls him over. He immediately smells alcohol on the priest's breath and notices an empty wine bottle in the car.

He says: "Have you been drinking?"

"Just water," says the priest.

The cop replies: "Then why do I smell wine?"

The priest looks at the bottle and says: "Good Lord! He's done it again!"
6 Mar '16

A woman comes home after being to the doctors.
Her husband said, "How did it go?"
She said, "He said I had a nice fanny"
Her husband was absolutely furious. He stormed down to the surgery and confronted the doctor.
He said, "How dare you make such personal remarks about my wife?
The doctor explained, "What I actually said was "You have acute angina!!"
25 Feb '16

won't be posting on this thread anymore.(Shut it Snooty)
I have made my fortune with 88e(Driver wanted)
It's been fun...
Gluck suckers.
1 Feb '16

Teacher asks her class to use the word 'contagious'.

Roland the class swot, gets up and says, "Last year I got the measles and my Mum said it was contagious."

"Well done, Roland" says the teacher. "Can anyone else try?"

Katie, a sweet little girl with pigtails, says, "My grandma says there's a bug going round, and it's contagious."

"Well done, Katie" says the teacher.

"Anyone else?"

Little Irish Shaun jumps up and says in a broad Irish
voice, "Our next door neighbour is painting his house with a two-inch brush and my Dad says it will take the contagious"......
26 Jan '16

A woman was in town on a shopping trip.

She began her day finding the most perfect shoes in the first shop and a beautiful dress on sale in the second.

In the third, everything had just been reduced by 50 percent when her mobile phone rang. It was a female doctor notifying her that her husband had just been in a terrible car accident and was in critical condition and in the ICU.. The woman told the doctor to inform her husband where she was and that she'd be there as soon as possible.

As she hung up she realized she was leaving what was shaping up to be her best day ever in the boutiques. She decided to get in a couple of more shops before heading to the hospital.

She ended up shopping the rest of the morning, finishing her trip with a cup of coffee and a beautiful chocolate cake slice, compliments of the last shop. She was jubilant.

Then she remembered her husband. Feeling guilty, she dashed to the hospital.

She saw the doctor in the corridor and asked about her husband's condition.

The lady doctor glared at her and shouted, 'You went ahead and finished your shopping trip didn't you! I hope you're proud of yourself! While you were out for the past four hours enjoying yourself in town, your husband has been languishing in the Intensive Care Unit! It's just as well you went ahead and finished, because it will more than likely be the last shopping trip you ever take! For the rest of his life he will require round-the-clock care. And YOU will now be his carer!'

The woman was feeling so guilty she broke down and sobbed..

The lady doctor then chuckled and said, 'I'm just pulling your leg.. He's dead. Show me what you bought.'
13 Jan '16

What do you call a night cleaner with a bird of prey on each shoulder?

Hawk-Kestrel man hoovers in the dark.

Sign up for Live Prices
Top Recommended
Hot Chat Topics
Top recommended posters in the last 30 days

Member Login

Forgotten your password?


Don't have an account? Click here to Register Free!

Datafeed and UK data supplied by NBTrader and Digital Look. While London South East do their best to maintain the high quality of the information displayed on this site,
we cannot be held responsible for any loss due to incorrect information found here. All information is provided free of charge, 'as-is', and you use it at your own risk.
The contents of all 'Chat' messages should not be construed as advice and represent the opinions of the authors, not those of London South East Limited, or its affiliates.
London South East does not authorise or approve this content, and reserves the right to remove items at its discretion.