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ETF Investing made simple; CEO of justETF explains why


Member Info for Mr.Leeson


Send a private message to Mr.Leeson

Member Since: Thu, 2nd Dec 2010

Number of Share Chat Posts (all time): 894
Number of Share Chat Posts (last 30 days): 14

Last Posted: Wed 10:59


Post Distribution over the last 30 days




Wed 10:59

It was mealtime during a flight on a British Airways plane:
"Would you like dinner?" the flight attendant asked the man seated in the front row.
"What are my choices?" the man asked.
"Yes or no," she replied.
14 Feb '17

Leesonitis /ˈles.ənɪtɪz/: An avid,voracious reader of Mr.Leeson's buffoonery.
12 Feb '17

Apple announced today that it has developed a breast implant that can store and play music.
The i-Tit will cost from £499 to £699, depending on cup and speaker slze.
This is considered a major social breakthrough because for generations women have been complaining about men staring at their tits and not listening
11 Feb '17

Siamese twins walk into a bar in Canada and park themselves on a bar stool.
One of them says to the bartender, "Don't mind us; we're joined at the hip. I'm John, he's Jim. Two Molson Canadian beers, draft please."
The bartender, feeling slightly awkward, tries to make polite conversation while pouring the beers. "Been on holiday yet, lads?"
"Off to England next month," says John. "We go to England every year, rent a car and drive for miles. Don't we, Jim?" Jim agrees.
"Ah, England!" says the bartender. "Wonderful country... the history, the beer, the culture..."
"Nah, we don't like that British crap," says John. "Hamburgers and Molson's beer, that's us, eh Jim? And we can't stand the English - they're so arrogant and rude."
"So why keep going to England?" asks the bartender.
"It's the only chance Jim gets to drive."
6 Feb '17

Mr. Jones gets a call from the hospital. They tell him his wife's been in a terrible car accident. He rushes to the hospital, runs into the A&E and says his wife's been in an accident. They tell him Dr. Smith is handling the case. They page the doctor. He comes out to the waiting room to see a terribly upset Mr. Jones.
"Mr. Jones?" the doctor asks. "Yes sir, what's happened? How is my wife?" The doctor sits next to him and says, "Not good news. Your wife's accident resulted in two fractures of her spine."
"Oh my God" says Mr. Jones, "what will be her prognosis?" Dr. Smith says "Well, Mr. Jones, her vital signs are stable. However, her spine is inoperable. She'll have no motor skills or capability. This means you will have to feed her." Mr. Jones begins to sob. "And you'll have to turn her in her bed every two hours to prevent pneumonia."
Mr. Jones begins to wail and cry loudly. "Then, of course," the doctor continued, "you'll have to change her as she'll have no control over her bladder and of course these nappies must be changed at least five times a day." Mr. Jones begins to shake as he cries, sobs, wails.
The doctor continues: "And you'll have to clean up her faeces on a regular basis as she'll have no control over her sphincters. Her bowel will engorge whenever and quite often I'm afraid. Of course you must clean her immediately to avoid accumulation of the putrid effluent she'll be emitting regularly."
Now Mr. Jones is convulsing sobbing uncontrollably and beginning to wither off the bench into a sobbing pitiful mass. Just then Dr. Smith reaches out his hand and pats Mr. Jones on the shoulder. "Hey, I'm just messing with you, she's dead."
26 Jan '17

What does the Secret Service say when Donald Trump gets shot at?

Donald Duck
25 Jan '17

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25 Jan '17

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25 Jan '17

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25 Jan '17

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