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Member Info for Mr.Leeson


Premium Member

Member Since: Thu, 2nd Dec 2010

Number of Share Chat Posts (all time): 1,295
Number of Share Chat Posts (last 30 days): 8

Last Posted: Thu 11:58


Post Distribution over the last 30 days




Thu 11:58


Two aerials meet on a roof, fall in love get married. The ceremony wasn't much but the reception was brilliant...
Wed 12:42


Declan the humble crab and Kate the Lobster Princess were madly, deeply and passionately in love. For months they enjoyed an idyllic relationship until one day Kate scuttled over to Declan in tears.

"We can't see each other anymore...." she sobbed.

"Why?" gasped Declan.

"Daddy says crabs are too common," she wailed. "He claims you, a mere crab, and a poor one at that, are the lowest class of crustacean... and that no daughter of his will marry someone who can only walk sideways."

Declan was shattered, and scuttled sidewards away into the darkness and to drink himself into a filthy state of aquatic oblivion. That night, the great Lobster Ball was taking place. Lobsters came from far and wide, dancing and merry making, but the lobster Princess refused to join in, choosing instead to sit by her father's side, inconsolable.

Suddenly the doors burst open, and Declan the crab strode in. The Lobsters all stopped their dancing, the Princess gasped and the King Lobster rose from his throne. Slowly, painstakingly, Declan the crab made his way across the floor...and all could see that he was walking not sideways, but FORWARDS, one claw after another!

Step by step he made his approach towards the throne, until he finally looked King Lobster in the eye. There was a deadly hush. Finally, the crab spoke............

"Feck,I'am ****ed."
18 Aug '14


A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says: "Sorry, we don't serve food in here."
18 Aug '14


Q: What does a mathematician do when he's consitpated?

A: He works it out with a pencil
14 Aug '14


Two cows standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly: "I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe you," replies Dolly.

"It's true, no bull!"


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