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Member Info for Mr.Leeson


Premium Member

Member Since: Thu, 2nd Dec 2010

Number of Share Chat Posts (all time): 1,393
Number of Share Chat Posts (last 30 days): 10

Last Posted: Tue 05:34


Post Distribution over the last 30 days




Tue 05:34


A professor is giving the first year medical students their first lecture on

autopsies, and decides to give them a few basics before starting.



"You must be capable of two things to do an autopsy. The first thing

is that you must have no sense of fear."

At this point, the lecturer

sticks his finger into the dead man's anus, pulls it out, and then licks it.

He asks all the students to do the same thing with the corpses in front of them.

After a couple of minutes' silence, they follow through with his disgusting

command.

"The second thing is that you must have an acute sense of

observation: How many of you noticed that I stuck my middle finger into the

corpse's anus, but I licked my index finger?"

Mon 18:36


A young man goes into the Job Centre in London and sees a card advertising for a Gynecologist's Assistant. Interested he goes to learn more...

"Can you give me some more details about this?' he asks the guy behind the desk.

The Job Centre man sorts through his files and replies - "Oh yes, here it is:"

"The job entails you getting the lady patients ready for the gynecologist. You have to help them out of their underwear, lie them down and carefully wash their genital regions. You then apply shaving foam and gently shave off all their pubic hair then rub in soothing oils so that they're ready for the gynecologist's examination. There's an annual salary of £25,000, but you're going to have to go to Edingburgh that's about 420 miles from here."

"Oh why, is that where the job's at?"

"No sir - that's where the end of the line is!"
12 May '15


A polar bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender:

I'll have a brandy

...........................................................................................

...........................................................................................

...........................................................................................

...........................................................................................and coke."

The bartender asks: "What's with the big pause?"

The bear responds: "I dunno. I've always had them."
12 May '15


A Catholic Priest, an Indian Doctor, a rich Chinese businessman and an Aussie were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers in front of them.

The Aussie fumed, "What's with those blokes? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!"

The Indian Doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such poor golf!"

The Chinese Businessman called out, "Move it, time is money."

The Catholic Priest said, "Here comes George the greens keeper. Let's have a word with him."

"Hello, George!", said the Catholic Priest. "What's wrong with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"

George the greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind fire fighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free any time."

The group fell silent for a moment. The Catholic Priest said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight."

The Indian Doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there's anything he can do for them."

The Chinese Businessman replied, "I think I'll donate £50,000 to the fire-fighters in honour of these brave souls."

The Aussie said, "Why can't they bloody well play at night?"
12 May '15


In light of your compliment may I suggest that you address me as"LordLeeson"from now on.


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