To what may be to the surprise of many, I actually attended the EGM and I took down detailed notes based on my observations and interpretations of what I heard and saw. I decided not to post them at first, as I am not really up for ridicule from you lot any longer given my age and recent sensitivity to distempered criticism, but since I met one of you at the meeting and we carried on amicably (an older chap with a hunchback and a clubbed right hand), I thought I would humour the group and post my findings:
1) First, that smooth-as-silk Wordsmith Sir Thomas Randell of Gloucester Place has relocated to larger and greener pastures as the new investor relations chairman at an infrastructure investment finance company called John Laing. I did not seem him at the meeting, but I wished him well nonetheless and poured a swig of fine single malt Scotch whiskey on the ground near the courtyard in his honor. We wish you God speed and best of luck in your new endeavors Sir Randell.
2) Second, it seems that my expert financial analysis of MXP over the past 6 months or so has caught the eye of a tenured board member of the London School of Economics. I am told that my work will form the background for a nomination for the Nobel Prize for Corporate Economics and Finance for 2015. This is not “The Nobel Prize” mind you, but one of several inferior prize categories reserved for those who have nonetheless made a noteworthy contribution to society on behalf of one’s fellow man. It seems that my predictions were so accurate that they caused quite a fuss amongst Greater London financial academia. I shall humbly accept the nomination and submit my work next week in a more formal setting, complete with tables and scratch paper computations and such to support my various findings and expert opinions.
3) Finally, my King Air aircraft had a flame out over the channel late last week of the starboard engine whilst in high altitude cruise. We feathered the dead prop and the remaining engine ferried us back around and into Turnhouse without issue, though it gave me quite a scare. I had to change my britches and acid wash the pipes afterwards, if you know what I mean. Worse yet, the engine shall cost well into the 6 figures to replace including massive labour and aircraft downtime and storage costs. I am more than a great bit upset, as I had those funds set aside and allocated for a 2016 Ferrari 488GTB in hunter’s green with beige interior. Blast it. That is all for now lads. If I can remember anything more from the meeting that might be of interest, I shall post in haste. Cheers.
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